


only need the light when it's burning low

by Solanaceae



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Death, F/F, not a happy ending but also not as sad as that tag implies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 04:32:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9701846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solanaceae/pseuds/Solanaceae
Summary: Sigrun mourns.





	

Tuuri’s grave was too small.

Sigrun stood in the rain, feet planted mere inches from the mound of dirt that she had shoveled back into the hole. If there was water running down her face, she could pretend it was only the rain, though when she opened her mouth she tasted salt.

If she closed her eyes, she could pretend that Tuuri was standing beside her instead of lying several feet under the cold earth.

A shiver of grief ran through her and she bit her lip, bowing her head to hide the expression on her face. The others had been driven inside by the rain, but she couldn’t seem to tear herself away from Tuuri’s side.

It was too small, she kept thinking. Too small to hold Tuuri, the brightest star in Sigrun’s sky. Too small to contain someone so full of hopeful energy, even up to the last moment.

(Tuuri had smiled, at the end, even as her gaze went clouded and her grip on Sigrun’s hand loosened. Smiled, like she was only going to sleep, like she would wake in the morning healed.)

Sigrun’s legs wobbled and she sank to her knees in the mud, clenching her fists.

Tuuri deserved life, deserved to return safely to her home full of stories of her adventures - stories that might have danger in them, but always ended with safety. That was the way it should be.

_It should have been me._

It was only now that she realized how much she had taken for granted Tuuri’s presence beside her, the constant warmth against her, the bright smile every time she turned to look at her. Only now, when it was too late to do anything, to tell Tuuri how much she meant to Sigrun.

This time, when the sob rose in her throat, she did nothing to hold it back. She stared at the grave in front of her, digging her nails into her palms and choking on her grief.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sigrun jerked awake, face wet with tears.

She hastily swiped them away, even though it was pitch black in the van and no one was awake to see her. Beside her, Tuuri stirred in her sleep.

 _Just a dream,_ she thought, but there was no relief there.

All Sigrun wanted to do was reach over and pull Tuuri close, whisper to her everything she had held back, tell her before it was too late. But she lay still in the darkness, fear pressing in around her, waiting till morning.


End file.
